Second Chances
by Cormak3032
Summary: Deathly Hallows Book Seven Spoilers! When Hermione Granger's life takes a turn for the worst, she learns from the most unlikely source that second chances can make you whole again. HGSS
1. When it all comes tumbling down

This story contains spoilers from Book 7.

This story has not been beta read so please forgive my errors.

Second Chances

Chapter One: When it all comes tumbling down.

Hermione ran hard and fast. The rain stung her eyes and soaked her to bone, but still she went on.

She had no idea where she was going, she just kept running. One foot in front of the other, splashing through the puddles. The tears were clouding her vision; her heart hammered so hard it hurt and her harsh breathing made her lungs ache. She stumbled, banging into something metal and blinked to find herself leaning against a familiar wrought iron fence. She opened the gate, rushed inside and finally collapsed onto the ground.

It was silent except for the storm, which raged around her. Of course it would be silent in a graveyard.

Hermione buried her face into her hands, shaking hard as she cried. Her tears mixed with the rain, washing down the sides of her hands.

It was over... All over. Twenty years of marriage to Ronald Weasley was now a memory laced with more hurt than good. Over the years their once harmless nagging grew severe. It hit a high when their children started school at Hogwarts. They pretended that things were fine when the children visited, but the arguing grew worse. Ron wanted one thing and she wanted something different.

It was finally decided this evening that the marriage should end when Ron angrily called her a Mudblood who put more energy into books and a future career than her family. He had been shocked the hurtful term has left his lips and he immediately apologized, but Hermione had had enough.

Rose and Hugo would be devastated when they learned their parents would be splitting, although Hermione suspected Rose had a feeling something was going on. Her daughter always watched them when she was home visiting for holidays, most likely waiting for them to slip up and cease to act in front of her.

Her poor children. They would have to go from home to home to see their parents. And where would Hermione live? The house had been a gift from George after the war when he learned Ron and Hermione were getting married. It wouldn't be right. She couldn't go back to that house. She'd rather sleep out here with the gravestones. At least they wouldn't yell at her and call her a selfish Mudblood.

She heard the sound of one of the gates opening, some distance away and got to her feet, wavering unsteadily. She couldn't bear to face anyone right now, whether she knew him or her or not.

So, she began to run again as fast as her feet would carry her. She was so busy trying to get away; she didn't see the dark robed figure move from behind a gravestone about to place yellow roses on the earth before it.

She ran straight into the person, the roses flying through the air, the petals falling like yellow rain.

"Why can't you watch where the hell you're going?" a low angry voice snarled.

Strong hands steadied and then shook her.

Hermione could see the bruised petals and destroyed flowers and she felt even more miserable. A fresh round of sobs escaped her.

Without a sound, one of the steady hands released her arm and tilted up her chin.

Hermione found herself staring into the surprised dark eyes of Severus Snape.


	2. Return to the living

Thank you to those who took time to read and review the first chapter. It's been a while since I've written much of anything. After reading Deathly Hallows I knew I needed to write.

Once again I apologize for any spelling and grammar mistakes.

Chapter Two: Return to the living

Hermione gasped her eyes wide. She shook her head in disbelief. Some of her damp hair swung back to smack her in the cheek.

Severus Snape looked equally surprised and a little unsure of what to do.

Hermione stumbled backwards in shock causing Snape to release his hold on her. She tripped over one of the gravestones and fell to the ground, hitting her head hard on one of the flat stone markers. Then there was darkness.

Hermione felt something cool and damp being pressed to her forehead. Her eyelids fluttered open and her vision swam in front of her. Her head hurt badly, as if someone had hit her with a hammer. She squeezed her eyes shut.

"Drink this. It will help with the pain."

In her hazy state she did not protest the familiar voice, and accepted the disgusting liquid that burned as it went down her throat. Several moments later the throbbing pain in her head disappeared, and when she opened her eyes, her vision was clear.

She was sitting on a threadbare dark green couch, was completely dry and kneeling in front of her was none other than Severus Snape.

Hermione paled as if she was seeing a ghost and Severus realized to her that would almost be true.

"B—b—but, you're dead! I must have hit my head…I must be hallucinating…"

"You did hit your head, but I assure you Miss G- Mrs. Weasley," he corrected himself. "I am quite alive."

Snape almost had not recognized her in the graveyard. Her bushy hair had been drenched and straight and twenty years had changed her. She was taller, nearly as tall as him and was not the skinny little girl he once knew her to be. He had needed to see her face to know who she was.

Hermione squeezed her eyes shut at how Snape addressed her. Memories of earlier in the evening danced in her mind until Snape spoke again.

"Are you well? The potion should have helped you and I healed the wound on the back of your head. Perhaps you are injured more than I originally thought. You always did have an attention seeking streak in you." The last part was a little softer and slightly bitter sounding.

"I'm fine, thank you," she bit out a little more harshly than she meant.

"Winky, some tea and biscuits if you would be so kind."

"Yes, Mr. Snape. Winky is happy to—"

The house Elf stopped in her tracks. Her eyes grew wide at the sight of Hermione in the house. Then the Elf was gone, in the direction of what Hermione assumed was the kitchen.

"Please forgive her surprise. I don't normally have company. In fact, I never have company."

Hermione nodded, but half wondered if Winky's surprise was because of her organization of SPEW so long ago.

Snape watched as Hermione took in her surroundings. His living room was clean these day since he took up residence here and had for a long time. Winky always insisted on dusting and cleaning the whole house several times a week. He had enough books on his nearly wall to wall shelves to rival the library at Hogwarts. He watched as she greedily took in their presence.

"Is this your house?"

"Indeed. Welcome to number seventeen Spinner's End."

"Are all of theses books yours?"

Severus held back the chuckle that nearly escaped. Apparently she was still a bookworm after all these years. "Many of them belonged to my mother, but a good number of them are mine."

Severus allowed her a few more moments to take in her environment before he spoke. "Now, would you care to tell me why you were running through the graveyard in the pouring rain as if a Dementor were at your heels?"

Her eyes locked with his. "If you would care to tell me how you can be alive." For the first time that evening she left her own worries behind. "Harry saw you die twenty years ago. He saw Nagini strike you. Saw the life drain from your eyes. I saw your body on the floor in the Shrieking Shack…"

"Ah, yes. Mr. Potter also saw me _kill _Albus Dumbledore, too. Didn't he?"

Hermione bit her lip. He had a point there.

'Tell me, Mrs. Weasley-"

"DON'T." Hermione barked and Snape's brows raised over his eyes at her sudden tone. "Please," she tried again a bit more softly. "Please don't address me as such. Miss Granger would be preferable or Hermione would be just fine."

Snape looked down to her hands and realized there was no wedding band. He was puzzled. There had been nothing in the Prophet about her getting divorced from Ronald Weasley.

"Very well, Miss Granger."

Hermione was suddenly brought back to her Hogwarts years.

"I…I didn't mean to yell at you. I-"

"You are no doubt overwhelmed."

"Yes, I dare say I am. I hardly expected to run into you…ever."

He smiled and Hermione realized it was not a smirk or an evil smile that he would have flashed after saying something particularly nasty to one of her fellow Gryffindors in their school years. It was a genuine smile.

"I hardly expected to run into you, Miss Granger. No one ever visits the graveyard on stormy evenings and that is how I prefer it."

"Why were you-" She answered her own question. He was visiting Harry's mother's grave. That had to be it. It had been revealed that he had been in love with her since they were both children. Apparently, he still carried a torch after all these years.

"I'm so sorry about the flowers-"

He quieted her with a raised hand. The sound of rattling teacups filled the air signaling Winky's return. She brought them each a steaming cup of tea. Snape took his and sipped it as he sat across from Hermione in a worn blue wingback chair. Winky set a plate of biscuits on a low table centered between the couch and chair and disappeared in silence.

Twenty years had passed since Hermione had last seen Severus Snape. He had to be around fifty-seven or fifty-eight years old now. The very slightest bits of silver hair were starting to show in his dark locks. He still kept his hair cut to just above his shoulders. He dressed in black in the same style buttoned up coat and black trousers he wore as a Professor. The only difference is that he wore no teaching robes.

Hermione watched as he set his teacup and saucer on the table. She thought he looked younger now than he had at thirty-seven. No doubt the absence of so many burdens and secrets to carry had done wonders for him. These last twenty years must have also been lonely for him.

Snape's dark eyes met hers and she looked away, busying herself with sipping her tea. What did one say to the man everyone thought had been dead for two decades? She had never spoken one on one to Severus Snape. He always brushed her off in school, ignoring her desire to impress and please him academically.

"It seems we both have many questions."

She nodded refusing eye contact.

"Did no one ever wonder why there was no body to bury?"

She lifted her eyes to his at that. "Of course we did! But everyone assumed Nagini, that she…"

"Finished my remains?"

"That is a polite way of phrasing it."

"How could she have when she and Voldemort left me to die on the floor like a worthless animal?"

Hermione's eyes widened. He had called Voldemort by his name and not the Dark Lord.

Guilt assaulted her. She and Harry had also left him there, thinking he was dead.

"My god, Severus, why didn't you let someone know you were alive? Why didn't you-" She silenced herself and took a deep breath? "You don't know how Harry has tortured himself over the years because he never got to apologize for acting like a prat to you or to thank you."

She was so lost in her swirling thoughts that she did not realize she had called him by his first name. After the war, they were all resolved to call him Severus or Professory Snape and never Snape again. It somehow seemed disrespectful after all he had done.

Severus did not know this and found it odd to hear his name roll off her tongue instead of 'Professor Snape'. He had half expected her to call him that.

Severus frowned as he took in the rest of what she had said. It always had to be about Potter. Even after all these years.

"You must understand that I did not expect to live," he bit out harshly.

Severus got to his feet and began to pace, the old floorboards creaking beneath him. "After Nagini bit me, I _wanted_ to die. I didn't even fight it after I gave Potter my memories. As far as I was concerned, my time was over and done."

He crossed his arms over his chest, clearly upset. " But Dumbledore thought of everything and wouldn't just let me slip away. He sent Fawkes and his tears helped remove the venom in my veins. Dumbledore sent Winky and she brought me home and cared for me, giving me anti-venom and blood replenishing potions. I was very ill for weeks, but as you can see I survived."

He stopped in front of one of the bookshelves, letting his long fingers trail over a few of the titles. "As time continued to pass...I could not bring myself to venture in public or present myself to anyone."

He gazed out a nearby window, watching the rain strike the panes of glass. "I read the articles they wrote about me. While some forgave me, many did not and rightly so after how I treated people."

He turned to face the witch on his couch. " I have also read the details of your life, Mr. Weasley and Mr. Potter and his wife. I have reeked enough havoc in all of your lives. I did not want to upset the balance, which my presence might have done. It was better for me to stay silent and for you all to remain oblivious to the truth."

"You're wrong. Harry forgives you. You don't know how he blames himself for not saving you. For not knowing in the Shrieking Shack what he learned later!" She was on her feet and appeared almost angry with him. "We all forgive you!"

There were tears in her eyes and Severus wondered if he should have Disapparated after she ran into him in the graveyard. He had no doubt that he not only just complicated her life, but everyone's.

"I did not mean to upset you. Sit and sip your tea or eat a biscuit. I want to know what had you out in the rain."

The energy seemed to drain out of her at his request. She sank back onto the couch, but did not reach for her tea or a biscuit.

"Ron and I are getting a divorce," she said plainly.

Severus said nothing. While he understood why they married, he never agreed with it.

"We started bickering...more than usual. The children just went back to school. We always try not to bicker in front of them." She looked down and reached for a chunk of her long hair, nervously rolling it in between her fingers. It was less bushy due to the length. At thirty-seven, when most witches kept their hair short, Hermione allowed hers to grow long. Another thing Ron hated.

She looked down at the deep scratches on the old wood floor, willing the tears to go away, but they came anyway, slipping down her cheeks. "Now that the children are grown and in school, I thought I could focus a little on me. Ron always had his job and it was time for me to have mine. As much as I love my children, motherhood wasn't my first choice. I've always wanted a career." She released her hair and looked over to Severus who was listening intently.

"I have an interview on Monday for a job. I was so excited but Ron became furious when I told him." She sniffed. A tear rolled down her nose and dripped, falling onto her beige corduroy pants.

"He hates how I've retained some of my "Muggle" ways and thinking. He thinks I shouldn't work. He says it makes me different when I dive into too many books or want to research."

Severus sneered. "He wants to form you into the shape he desires and not allow you to be yourself."

"Exactly!" Hermione cried out. Severus Snape understood, why couldn't Ron?

"He called me a rather derogatory term and it exploded after that. I threw my ring at him and he told me to leave his house and I told him I never wanted to see him again." She was crying more openly now, the tears falling one after another. "The problem is that I don't want to see him for a long time. I don't want to be married to him anymore," she admitted honestly. "He was actually drawing up the divorce papers while I was there…_That _made me flee." She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. "I think I'm crying more because of how things used to be and how the children are going to react." A fresh round of sobs came forth when she thought of her children.

Severus sat completely still. Fury was brewing in his obsidian eyes. He could almost picture the fight. Probably something similar to how his own parents used to quarrel. What upset him the most was her mentioning that Ronald Weasley had called her a derogatory term. It could have been any word, but Severus would have bet his life that Weasley had called her a Mudblood.

Hermione was weeping with her face in her hands and Severus felt sorry for her. He had been surprised that she would confide so much in him, but she was obviously devastated and in need of an acquaintance.

Hermione felt the cushions of the couch sink under Severus' weight. A gentle hand on her back was all it took for her to launch herself into his arms.

Severus looked down at the weeping witch and was reminded of a time long ago when Narcissa Malfoy had done something similar.

"If your children are as brilliant as their mother is, I am certain they will come to understand everything in time," he allowed quietly.

Hermione drew back at his words. She looked up with an expression of surprise and confusion.

Severus's lips twitched into a lop sided grin. "Yes, I am at liberty to admit it now. I read your excerpt in _The Potions Journal_ back in 2000. I see you left text book parroting behind and indulged in experimentation."

Hermione released a deep breath and fanned herself with her hand. "I don't know if I can handle all this at once. You being alive and now you're complimenting me."

Severus chuckled, the sound deep and joyous as it filled the room. How odd it felt to converse with another human being. He could feel the warmth of her body as she sat beside him. She smelled of raspberries and vanilla. It was strangely satisfying and a little unsettling to be near someone after all this time alone.

"I'm sorry to have troubled you with my baggage. I… I'm not usually like this. All tears and no composure."

"It all rages swiftly like a stream after a storm, doesn't it?"

She nodded, wondering how it was he seemed to know exactly how she felt.

"I remember falling back and hitting my head on one of the gravestones after I realized who you were. I appreciate you bringing me here out of the rain and healing my injury."

"You are welcome."

The honest politeness caused Hermione's lips to twitch into a lop sided grin. "Who are you really and what have you done with Severus Snape?"

Severus appeared bewildered. "I beg your pardon?"

"The Severus Snape that I remember would never have been this pleasant to a Gryffindor know-it-all."

"The Snape you remember died twenty years ago when his time for lies and deception was over. Of course, I have retained some of his arrogance."

"And his intelligence I'm sure."

The smile appearing on his face disappeared at her words.

"I'm sorry, did I say something wrong?"

He shook his head. He was unused to compliments of any kind and one from a handsome young woman, despite the fact that she had been his student once, mattered a great deal to him. He nearly laughed at how one silly compliment made him realize how starved for human contact he really was.

"It's probably late…" she told him nervously. " I should leave you to your… privacy."

It was obvious to Severus that Hermione Granger was torn. She wanted to stay and yet she also wanted to go. He realized where _he_ wanted her.

He moistened his dry lips. "And where will you go?"

"I…I haven't gotten that far yet." She lowered her head and sighed.

"It is obvious to me that you cannot return to your home tonight. In fact I will not permit it. Mr. Weasley needs to calm down and you need to think things over."

Hermione opened her mouth to protest, but Severus cut her off. "I will not take no for an answer," he said firmly. "The years may have softened me, but only to a point. Winky?"

The house elf appeared immediately.

"Will you please make certain the guest bedroom has new linens?"

The Elf nodded and was gone.

"Severus, I couldn't!" Hermione was on her feet, her eyes wide as saucers, and her hands gesturing wildly. "It's very kind of you to offer me somewhere to sleep, but I cannot intrude further on the hospitality you have already shown me."

Severus stood and stilled her hands, his own moving to rest on her elbows. The feel of another person was so foreign to him, but very welcome. "Let me do this... Hermione. I will be offended if you do not accept."

Hermione pursed her lips.

"I'm certain you have more questions," he allowed, knowing she always had a yearning for more knowledge. "I will attempt to answer what I can."

She nodded and reached for her tea.

As she sipped the cooling liquid and then reached for a biscuit, she realized he had called her Hermione.

TBC...


	3. Promises

Chapter 3: Promises.

Hermione awakened and shot straight up as her eyes focused on the unfamiliar surroundings. It took her several moments to remember that she was staying at Severus Snape's house.

She sank back onto the bed with a sigh. She had been shocked to find him alive after all these years. Shocked was an understatement. She blushed as she thought about falling and hitting her head.

He seemed much more at peace these days. Gone was most of the arrogance and bitterness. It seems that time had changed him. He no longer had to play the puppet to two masters and was finally free to do as he wished. She found it very sad that he chose to live alone, when his brilliant mind could be doing something else. Hermione also understood that he was leery of the outside world. But it had been so long since Voldemort was killed and the war ended. Surely, most of the public would accept him now.

They had each retired for the evening not long after the decision had been made for Hermione to stay the night. Winky had avoided her like the plague and Hermione was now certain the House Elf remembered her organization of SPEW. She had left that behind her long ago, although she had spoken to the public and used her husband's job as an Auror to get her voice heard before their children had been born. While Hermione understood people would continue to keep house elves, she wanted them treated fairly.

Her mind then drifted to her husband and she sighed. She knew things had steadily been growing worse between her and Ron. She was thankful the children were not home when hell broke loose. She would have to call her parents and let them know what was going on and she dreaded what would happen when Molly found out. Hermione always felt the Weasley matriarch disliked her. Hermione could never seem to raise her children properly in Molly's eyes. She didn't dote on Ron enough and picked on him too much. Ron was always perfect and Hermione unfit.

She clutched the soft pillow to her head and tried to sleep, but it was in vain. Judging by the light starting to filter in through the window, it was around dawn. She decided to make a trip to the loo and come back to bed to think.

She tipped toed as quietly as she could down the stairs, but they creaked as she moved. She was surprised to see Severus awake and reading in the same chair he had occupied last night.

He smiled when she descended the stairs, and Hermione wondered if this truly was Severus Snape staring back at her.

She smiled in return and asked where the bathroom was. After relieving herself and washing up, she took a seat on his couch.

Looking him over for a moment she realized he was in the same clothes he had been wearing the night before.

"I didn't keep you up, did it? I hope I wasn't I snoring or mumbling in my sleep."

Severus grinned. "You snored so loudly that Winky was walking around with a pillow over her head."

Hermione blanched and her eyes widened as Severus chuckled. Hermione pretended to be upset, but couldn't contain the smile that escaped. Twice she had heard Severus laugh, and it had been a wonderful sound. Who would have thought he had a sense of humor? It saddened her to realize she really knew nothing about this man.

"No, you did not snore or mumble in your sleep. At least not that I am aware of. Even after all these years, I still do not sleep well."

Hermione found this news disturbing. How did the man function?

"Were you able to get any rest?" he asked closing his book and resting it on the nearby table.

"A few hours. It's difficult to sleep when there is so much on your mind."

Severus wondered if he had been on her mind, while she lay awake. "You mentioned an interview on Monday. Where did you apply?"

"Briston's. It's a small newer apothecary. They were looking for a brewer for common potions."

"You disappoint me, Miss Granger. Common potions?"

She shrugged, noting sadly that he had reverted back to calling her Miss Granger. "I thought I could handle it. It's been years since I've brewed a thing. Having children drastically changes your life. Besides, the Head Brewer position was already filled. The young man I spoke to said they receive their potions by owl from the Head Brewer. He refuses to show up in person or work out of the Apothecary, but they are very pleased with his work and don't have a problem."

"Well, he would not want the world to know he is still alive by showing up in person, would he?"

Hermione's eyes widened. "It's you? You're the Head Brewer?"

"I do need to make some income to live. I brew in a small lab in my basement, send the potions by owl under a different name and they pay me by owl. Sometimes Winky will deliver the potions that would not survive an owl flight. I will write a letter of recommendation immediately for you."

"Severus, you don't have to…You've done so much already."

"It is the very least I can do."

"You don't have to do anything."

"No, I do not. But I want to," he told her firmly. "I was never nice to you, nor your friends, Miss Granger. I was cruel, bitter and held grudges from my youth, which I took out on you and your friends like some spoiled brat. I have had twenty years to rethink life. I have been given a second chance to live and I do not plan to throw it away by remaining bitter and petty."

"And yet you hide here, not sharing your life with anyone," she replied sadly.

"We discussed this," he told her, his voice growing firmer.

"Severus, times have changed. You couldn't possibly ruin anyone's life. In fact, were it not for you I would most likely be a basket case right now, sleeping in a graveyard."

"I am not yet ready to reveal myself. You must understand that it has been only Winky and myself for all these years."

"You accepted me just fine," she retorted.

"Out of your golden little trio, you have always been the easiest to get through to, and you are only one person. I need time."

She sighed heavily. "I understand. I guess I just want to share the good news with others."

Severus perked at that. He had never been good news for anyone.

"You must promise you will tell no one about me, until I am ready, if ever."

She pursed her lips and he raised an eyebrow. "Ever? Severus, you can't be serious."

"Stubborn as ever I see," Severus barked at her. It was the first hint of anger she had seen from him. Severus got to his feet and began to pace as he had the evening before. "I do not expect you to understand. You have had people; friends and family around you your entire life." He stopped near the couch. "I have had no one. In case you don't remember, let me remind you, that I am not a sociable person."

"You don't have to be sociable to have a few friends. You could have had friends, but you pushed people away."

Severus looked away as thoughts of Lily invaded his mind. He was glad he had given her son many of his memories of her. Their absence kept him from dwelling on the mistakes of his youth and hating himself for them.

"Are you going to push me away, too, if I tell you that I want to be your friend?" Her eyes were wild as she spoke.

Severus glanced away. "No…" he answered, not meaning to speak aloud. Then more clearly. "I would not push you away."

Severus had no doubt they would disagree many times if they continued to communicate. They both had stubborn streaks. He could not deny that had been enjoying her company and it was not because she was the first person he'd spent more than a few minutes with. He had seen people all these years, when he made trips to the Muggle grocery store, but he never spoke more than two words to them. Hermione was an intelligent adult witch. One who had grown out of being a walking encyclopedia to someone who would have been a brilliant researcher if given the time and materials.

"I never had the opportunity to get to know you as a young adult.," Hermione admitted softly. "You were my Professor and then everyone thought you murdered Headmaster Dumbledore. And then…then I thought you were dead." She cleared her throat.

"I promise that I will not tell anyone about you until you want me to…if ever. As long as you promise me that I can see you again."

His eyes widened at her request, but his response was immediate. "Agreed."

The older wizard asked that Hermione stay for breakfast and lunch. She promised to stay for breakfast, but told him she really should get in touch with her parents and let them know of the coming divorce.

"How do you think your parents will take the news?" he asked munching on a piece of toast as they sat across from each other at his kitchen table.

Hermione still found the whole situation extremely surreal.

"I think my father will be surprised and perhaps a little upset. He really likes Ron. He says he's good with the children. My mom probably will have figured it out. She can read me like a book. I am sure she will be disappointed, but I think she will understand."

Hermione lowered her fork on her plate. "This is the first time I've ever truly failed at something."

"It takes two to make a marriage, Hermione."

She felt a warmth fill her at how he said her name. "I know it does, but I wish I could have done more."

"What more can you do, when the person who is supposed to love you calls you horrible names and hurts you?" Pain slashed at Severus as he related. No doubt Hermione must be feeling what Lily felt long ago.

He had been so careless as a youth. He promised himself now that Hermione had re-entered his life that he would not make the same mistakes again.

"Only you and Mr. Weasley can decide what is best."

Hermione nodded. "Thank you for breakfast. Please thank Winky as well. Will you please tell her she has nothing to fear from me? I won't try to leave her clothes."

"Ah, yes. I read about your campaign for better treatment of House Elves."

"Yeah. It helped some. But I think Winky is still horrified that I used to leave clothing at school so the Elves could be free of the school."

Severus' eyebrows raised over his dark eyes. Amusement filled them. "You didn't?"

Hermione laughed. "I did. I should probably go."

Severus nodded and they walked silently into the living room.

Hermione shifted uneasily. "I want to thank you for your extraordinary kindness. I probably would have slept in the graveyard if you had not offered me a bed. That's not something I'm proud to admit."

"You are welcome."

"I meant it before. I do want to see you again. I…enjoyed your company." A smirk appeared on her face. "Maybe I can pick your brain sometime for potions information, if you wouldn't mind. Perhaps when I get my own place you could even visit me."

Severus noticed how much hope was in her voice. "I would enjoy seeing you, although I think it would be best if we waited a while longer before meeting again."

Severus watched the disappointment spread across her face. He felt remorse at the thought that she might think he was rejecting her, but trying to let her off lightly.

He waited until her eyes met his before continuing. "You do understand it would be inappropriate for us to meet considering your circumstances."

Hermione felt horrified as a blush crept along her cheeks.

"You and I both know we have done nothing wrong and will do nothing wrong. I highly doubt Mr. Weasley or anyone else would see it that way if they were to discover you stayed with me."

The disappointment was replaced by understanding. "You're right. It's probably best not to instigate things and make them worse."

"I would not be adverse to receiving letters from you. I obviously cannot write back until you have secured your own place, but perhaps conversing with someone you know of, who is not immediately in the picture, will help you."

"I'd like that very much."

"I expect to hear how the interview went," Severus said.

Hermione sighed. "It appears I need that job at Briston's badly now."

"They would be fools to not accept you. You may be rusty, but I have no doubt you will be an asset to the apothecary once you begin working."

Hermione felt her skin grow warm and she flushed for a second time. When was the last time someone had complimented her? Severus Snape, of all people, had done so several times over two days.

Severus smiled inwardly at the knowledge that he was able to make her blush. While he scared women as a teenager and young man with his looks and attitude, he was pleased to get such a different reaction from Hermione.

"I should go. Thank you again."

Severus nodded and watched her walk to the door, open it and step outside. The rain had tapered off and the sun was shining brightly. She gazed around his dilapidated neighborhood, waved at him and then Apparated.

Severus closed the front door and leaned his back against it, letting out a deep sigh.


	4. Letters

My thanks to everyone who has taken the time to read and leave a review. I read each and every one of them.

Also thank you to the wonderful staff at OWL who have been so kind to beta my work.

Apologies for a shorter chapter this time around.

Severus wondered if meeting Hermione had been a realistic dream. The days passed and no letter arrived from her. He resigned himself to the fact that it had been a dream or possibly she had been polite telling him she wanted to converse or see him again. Who the hell wanted to spend time with someone like him anyway?

Just when he had started to give up hope, when bitterness and anger had started to creep in, Hermione wrote to him. It was nearly a week later, but her letter came by way of a small screech owl she referred to as Elliot.

She let Severus know she was safe and staying with her parents. What Hermione expected came true. Her mother understood, although she was disappointed. Her father, upset by the news, tried to convince her to stay with Ron. She told him how Ron had just about gotten down on his hands and knees to apologize and beg her to take him back, but she refused him. The children did not yet know that their parents would be going to the Ministry in a week's time to finalize the divorce. It would happen while they were finishing the current year of school. Both Hermione and Ron did not want their children's grades to plummet as a result of their decision to separate.

Two weeks later, another letter came letting Severus know the divorce was final. She mentioned she had asked to revert back to using her maiden name, and how furious Ron had been with her. Molly Weasley had also gotten into a terrible row with Hermione. Severus was upset to hear that Hermione and Molly were not currently on speaking terms over the whole situation. Molly felt Hermione was being selfish wanting to leave her husband to pursue a career, and would not accept that her son was equally to blame for the marriage failing. She also thought Ron should have custody of the kids because Hermione was unstable and currently homeless. This hurt Hermione greatly, but was not pursued. Hermione finished the letter with the only good news she had. She had been hired and would begin working immediately at Briston's Apothecary.

The letters were sporadic after that. Sometimes they would arrive once a week and, other times, two would come in one week. It was obvious to Severus that Hermione was lonely and insecure, two things he could relate to.

Hermione obtained a flat for herself, just outside of London. She explained that it was small, but decent enough for her, and when the children would come to visit from school or for summer holiday. The neighborhood was not exactly the best, but Hermione was careful and warded the flat. Her children knew of the divorce, and Severus was sorry to hear that Hermione's son Hugo had not taken it well. Hugo was a first-year, and dealing with leaving home for school had been difficult enough for him. Learning that his parents had split while he was finishing his first year, was even worse. Rose, a third-year at Hogwarts, was devastated, but mentioned she had a feeling her parents might separate. While Rose stayed with Hermione, Hugo flat out refused. He stayed with father, and sided with him, feeling that his mother was being selfish in wanting a job and a career at her age.

Hermione was only thirty-seven years old and her children were nearly grown. Her ex-husband worked a lot. Why was it unfair for her to think of herself now, when she had sacrificed herself for her family?

Three months after the first letters started coming to Severus, Hermione started receiving letters in return. She smiled at the first one she received in Severus' familiar spiky script. She had been disappointed with his lack of trusting her. The letter was spelled only to be seen or read by her. Fall was coming, and Severus spoke of how the leaves at the nearby park were changing to brilliant reds and oranges. He spoke of working on a new potion for medicinal purposes. He asked that she not be upset that he would be using spells on his letters to her. She did not live alone and he wanted no one to know of his existence but her.

As the letters came and went between them, Hermione and Severus started talking less and less about her divorce and more and more about their research and jobs.

Hermione discovered she could still brew potions well, but found work at Briston's to be rather dull because it was so repetitive. She told Severus it was her wish to save funds and create a small lab to experiment on her own at home. She was also interested in medicinal potions and improving their taste, strength and response time. Experimenting was frowned upon at work, so she often asked Severus for ideas, and advice, which she would write and save in a journal.

Five long months passed since Hermione had seen Severus, and she realized with each passing month she wanted to see him more and more. While Harry and Ginny had been fairly understanding of the divorce, things were tense between them all. Hugo was slowly starting to come around. His Uncle Harry had let it slip that Ron had called Hermione a rather awful term, and that they had been quarreling for years but had been hiding it. Hugo was horrified about his father's behavior and apologized to this mother for acting as he had. But the young man was still upset that his parents were no longer together like many of his friends' parents were. Rose had always been close to Hermione and they spoke often and shared good times together while Rose was home on summer holiday. Hermione certainly wasn't alone by any means. The two men who ran Briston's also enjoyed talking to her. But Hermione realized no one stimulated her mind like one person did.

Severus was feeling very alone for the first time in years. Since meeting Hermione in the early spring, he realized he did not want to live the rest of his days alone with a very quiet house-elf as his only companion. Hermione was full of ideas in the same field of potions he was interested in. Her divorce was final. There was no reason they should not spend more time together. Severus realized he wanted to see her again as soon as possible.

Hermione had just arrived home from buying some groceries when she found Elliot screeching. The owl hopped across the kitchen counter, a letter attached to his foot. She recognized the writing on the outside and abandoned the groceries to read what Severus had written her.

_Hermione,_

_I believe it would be more beneficial if we brewed and worked on experiments together at one location instead of writing these silly letters back and forth from separate places. You may think it impertinent of me, but I have made a request at the apothecary on your behalf. They have agreed to it._

_I would like to meet to discuss the arrangements. Please respond with a favorable day and time for you._

_Severus Snape _

Not caring that her ice cream was melting in its container, she penned him a response.

_Severus,_

_I'm available tomorrow and all this weekend as I am finished with work for the week and the children are now back at school. Any time is good for me. I'm interested in which arrangements you have made concerning work. I will try to be patient and not bombard you with questions until I see you, but I cannot promise._

_Hermione_

Severus grinned as he read her letter. He went to his desk in his study and found a piece of parchment and his quill.

_Tomorrow morning, Eight AM. Meet me at the park near Spinners End._

_S _

Satisfied with the quick note, he rolled the parchment, bound it, and tied it to Elliot's foot. The owl gave him a look as if to say, "Again?" Severus shushed the bird off and left the study with large ground-eating strides. He made it as far as the living room where he began to pace nervously back and forth.

He asked Winky to please make sure the house was as spotless as it could be. The elf seemed delighted with the idea of additional work. She sensed this cleaning was important. Severus tried to busy himself with straightening books that were already neat, while he waited for Hermione's response.

It arrived half an hour later on the leg of a tired-looking Elliot.

_I will be there. I look forward to seeing you._

_H _

An unexplainable warmth filled Severus. After all those months of writing letters, they would finally see each other in person again. He could not explain where the joy he felt was coming from or why he was so happy that Hermione was coming.

He went to the basement, practically jogging down the old steps to reorganize his lab, and make sure it was perfect.

Hermione was coming… who had thought the very idea would have a bitter old wizard on air?


	5. Hello Again

Thank you again to the wonderful ladies at OWL for their beta reading. Also thank you to those who have taken the time to review.

Chapter 5: Hello Again

Severus watched as the same small blue car drove around the park road for the fifth time. Unlike the other times, where it kept going, the driver parked by the broken, graffiti covered playground. Litter and tall grass lined the cracked pavement, giving an appearance of neglect.

Severus was surprised to see Hermione step out of the car. He frowned from his place against one of the old oak trees. She looked like death warmed over. Her face was pale, her hair was a frizzy mess, half-thrown back into a ponytail. Her posture was bent over and she looked distraught. Severus hoped it was not because of him.

He had used his normal Muggle repelling charms, even though the park was deserted this morning. He had come to the park at seven because there was nothing left at the house to clean that had not already been cleaned ten times before. He thought Hermione would Apparate to the park. It was small, so it was not as if she would have trouble finding him. He watched as she sat on one of the rusty old swings and put her head in her hands.

Severus felt the hope seep out of him like air from a deflating balloon. Had she only been polite in her letter, saying she wanted to see him? He was sure she had been sincere, then again he really knew nothing of her at all.

Then it dawned on him. Perhaps this had nothing to do with him at all.

"Hermione?"

The young witch startled, and the chains on the swing rattled and creaked. Looking up, Hermione saw Severus Snape standing directly in front of her. He was dressed in his customary black, appearing as a shadow in the early morning sunshine.

"Gods, Severus. You scared me. I'm not late am I?" She glanced at her watch and saw that it was seven fifty eight.

He pursed his lips. "I'm surprised to see you driving a car instead of using your magic."

She glanced at the blue sedan. "I use it occasionally when I need to get out and think."

Severus looked her over. She looked as if she had been crying. Her eyes were swollen and red. He inhaled sharply and released it. "Does this have anything to do with what happened last night?"

Hermione's eyes widened. "How did you know something happened?"

"Well, your posture was a rather large hint, and the article on the front page of the Prophet was another."

Hermione groaned. She knew they would not be able to resist writing something.

"It's nearly eight," she informed him, getting up from the swing.

"I would not advise leaving your car here. It will certainly be vandalized."

"I've put a Muggle repelling charm on it. It should be all right until I get back."

"I apologize about having you meet me here. My house is warded and I was not comfortable sending you the address through the post."

"I tried so hard to remember where you lived. I know you told me, but I couldn't remember."

"It's part of the magic. When we arrive at my home I will lift the spell for you, so you will remember for the future."

Hermione nodded, and silently they walked two blocks along a muddy, polluted river that had seen better days. Severus stopped and Hermione wondered why. There was nothing but an overgrown field between two houses before them. He whispered a few words and an old two-floor house in definite need of cosmetic repair appeared, almost out of thin air.

"The wards have changed to accept you. My address is seventeen Spinners End."

She nodded.

Hermione followed Severus into the house and stopped dead in her tracks as she passed by a small mirror just inside the doorway.

"I look like shit," she mumbled to herself. Her hair was bushy, her eyes puffy from crying, bags under them from not enough sleep. She undid the ponytail and tried to make herself a bit more presentable, but there wasn't much she could do. Pulling out her wand she muttered a spell, and watched as she appeared a bit more refreshed.

She turned to see Severus watching her.

Severus was not quite sure what to say, so he attempted something neutral.

"Have you eaten breakfast?"

Food was the least thing from her mind. "Severus, what did they say in the Prophet?"

"Did you eat breakfast yet?" Severus asked again, his voice louder.

"No."

"How do you take your eggs?"

"Please, Severus, what did they say in the Prophet?"

"You can read it for yourself _after_ you eat something," he said firmly as if talking to a child.

She sighed, recognizing his firm school professor tone. "Scrambled is fine."

"Good. Winky?"

The house elf appeared immediately. "Hermione will have her eggs scrambled if you wouldn't mind. Some toast, bacon and some of the orange juice I purchased earlier this week would be fine. I will have the same. Thank you."

"You are welcome, Mr. Snape. Hello, Miss Hermione."

Hermione's eyes widened in surprise. "He-hello, Winky."

The Elf gave a half smile, and left the room.

Hermione looked to Severus.

Severus grinned. "We had a little chat."

Hermione beamed, and Severus felt warmth spread through him like the sun bathing the cool earth on a spring morning.

"Thank you. I appreciate that."

Hips lips twitched into a half smile. It was not necessary to tell Hermione how difficult it had been to convince the Elf that Hermione would cause her no harm. It was easy to see that Winky disliked Hermione being around. It had just been Severus and Winky for so many long years.

The House Elf knew that Severus was growing fond of Hermione, even if he did not yet realize it. She liked taking care of this house and Severus Snape and so she agreed because she knew it would please him. That did not mean that Winky would not be keeping an eye out for stray socks and hats around the house.

Severus disliked that he might now make things more difficult for Hermione, but he was far too curious to let things lie.

"While Winky prepares our food, why don't you tell me your version of last nights' events?" He gestured for her to sit on the couch. He watched the happiness drain from her face as she sat. He seated himself across from her in the blue wingback chair.

Hermione sighed. "What is there to tell? My ex-husband went to a bar, got pissed, into a brawl, and they called me to come pick his sorry arse up. If that wasn't bad enough, the whole world now knows what a failure our marriage turned out to be. No one knew we divorced. We agreed to keep it quiet. Ron and his big mouth, I can only imagine what they printed…"

Severus frowned. Now that he thought of it, he did not remember ever reading of Hermione and Ronald Weasley's divorce. But something else demanded that he comment. "I did not realize Mr. Weasley had a drinking problem."

Hermione shrugged, not noticing the stormy look in Severus' eyes. "It's not really a problem, well it never used to be. There are a lot of things the papers don't know."

"Why is that?" Why had she not told the world she was finally free of her husband?

"We're all so tired of being the juicy gossip. So tired of interviews and articles. We want to live quiet lives like anyone else. At least I do."

"That is understandable. I'm sure you would not want a swarm of men contacting you now that you are single."

Hermione laughed, the sound rich and feminine as it echoed through the living room. "I never knew you had a sense of humor."

"I was being serious. Surely there are dozens of men interested."

"Oh." She fiddled with a button on her cuff sleeve. "Well if there are, I wouldn't know about them. Besides, who wants a house wife who nit picks, reads too much, has two children, and wants a career?"

"I'm certain there is a man out there who would not mind those things."

Hermione could tell by his tone and expression that he was being serious. "Maybe someday I will find him," she admitted sadly. "Hopefully not anytime soon. I'm not ready for another relationship."

He nodded, not sure where he had been going with this conversation.

"So, what else doesn't the world know?"

Hermione pursed her lips, appearing in deep thought. "I'm sure you heard about…George?"

"As much as I loathed the Weasley twins at Hogwarts, I was sorry to read of his accident and death," Severus replied honestly. "I wish I had not been forced to participate in that chase all those years ago. He would have retained his ear."

"His death was no accident," Hermione all but whispered.

The wizard's brows furrowed. "The Prophet ran an article about him. How one of his own inventions backfired, and he died."

Hermione shook her head, her eyes filled with sorrow. "George wasn't right ever since Fred was killed in the war. Nothing made him truly happy. He pretended for his family, but he was miserable for years. He...he committed suicide."

Severus' mouth opened as if to speak and then he shut it.

"Ron was the one that found him, and he took George's death really hard. George left a letter for his family to say how sorry he was to leave them, but he couldn't continue living as he had been. He promised them he didn't suffer. The Weasley's told everyone that it had been an accident because they didn't want anyone to know the truth. It was a bad time for us all, but especially Molly and Ron. That's when Ron started drinking a bit more than usual. When we started fighting again he started drinking even more."

Severus' eyebrows lowered over his dark eyes. "Was he under the influence when you fought five months ago? Was he drunk when he told you your blood was dirty?"

Hermione's eyes widened. "How did you know he called me a Mudblood?"

Severus recoiled at the word. "Don't say that word in my presence. _Ever._ Do you understand?" His tone was angry.

Hermione shrank back, feeling like a first year in Potions. "Y-yeah. I'm sorry. But how could you possibly know he called me that?"

"A feeling."

"He wasn't violently drunk, but he'd had a few too many to drink. He's never called me anything like that before. In fact the name calling had just become a recent thing."

Severus frowned. Apparently, things had not been as happy as the papers led him to believe about the wizarding world's war heroes. He should have known better to hang on every word of print as if it were truth.

"Pathetic…" the dark haired wizard snarled. "You are fortunate you were able to get away from him. I have no doubt the next step would have been him hurting you physically."

Hermione shook her head. "Oh no, Ron would never have done that. He hates people who hit their wives or girlfriends."

Severus got to his feet. "It always starts out innocently enough. A few drinks, a few harsh words." As he began pacing the room, it was as if it had become darker in the house to reflect his mood. "Then a few more drinks and before you know it you are cowering in a corner, fearing for your life, not understanding how someone who loves you could want to harm you."

Hermione frowned. "You sound as if you speak from experience." She placed her hand over her mouth. She had not expected her thoughts to come out aloud.

"I do."

He gave no further explanation and Hermione did not ask for one. She had a feeling who Severus might be speaking about. She knew that his Muggle father had often fought with his mother.

"Repulsive and weak men turn to alcohol and abuse those around them." He sat himself roughly onto the couch beside her.

Hermione found Severus to be a walking contradiction. It was obvious he had been insecure as a youth due to his home life and his treatment at school as a student. Yet he had become a bitter bully at school as a professor. Did he not realize he had become similar to the very type of people he seemed to loathe? Had twenty years of reflection made him change? Or did he not make the connection?

Severus nearly jumped when he felt Hermione's hand on his arm. Even through the wool and cotton he could feel the warmth of her. It was strangely unsettling and welcome at the same time.

"I'm sorry you know from experience. I…I know you preferred school over being at home because they fought."

"How do you— Potter." His voice dripped with venom.

"Don't be mad at Harry. He doesn't know I saw your memories. While Harry told us a few things, he didn't tell us all. I…I took it upon myself to view those memories you left." She looked away.

"I conjured the bottle to capture them. In some twisted way I felt I had a right." The words fell swiftly from her mouth. "I always trusted you and I had to know some of what you were like." Hermione allowed a smile as she looked at him again. "I don't know what possessed me, but I told Rose about you. She idolizes you."

Severus' eyes widened in alarm.

"Oh, I don't mean that you are still alive. I mean when she was growing up. She's very good at potions and she's thinking she wants to study to be a Potions Professor at Hogwarts someday. She regrets she was never able to meet you. I know I can't tell her about you, but I wish I could. I wish I could tell Harry, too. He forgave you a long time ago."

"Just because Potter forgave me doesn't mean that I like him."

Hermione frowned at the anger and bitterness that fell forth from Severus.

"He is still the offspring of a woman I…befriended and a man I hated. The difference is that today I don't have to look at him. I don't have to be constantly reminded of what I could never have because of my foolishness and his very existence."

Severus crossed his arms over his chest. "Don't look at me with such an expression of surprise, Hermione. Just because twenty years have passed, do not for one minute think that all is well where Potter and I am concerned."

"I thought you were over your bitterness. You said-"

"I don't think I will ever be completely over _all _my bitterness. Not in the fashion you would hope for."

Hermione looked away from him. Was this the same man who had taken her in all those months ago? The same one who had just been almost protective of her because of Ron's alcoholism?

Hermione was about to respond when Winky returned.

"Mr. Snape, breakfast is ready for you and Miss Hermione."

"Thank you, Winky."

Severus gestured for Hermione to go before him and the conversation about Harry was dropped. As he watched her walk in front of him, he noted her stiff posture. She was upset with him, which he expected. She would just have to get over it. While he had left much of his hatred and bitterness behind, he was not perfect. He and Potter might tolerate each other someday, but Severus would never like the man. Never.

Breakfast was fairly quiet as Hermione and Severus were both deep in thought.

Hermione asked to read the Prophet after the dishes were cleared away, and after reading the article she wished she had never asked about the stupid paper. The article was long and spoke of how she had been summoned to the Leaky Cauldron to help handle her drunken ex-husband. He was trying to get over the fact that his wife would rather have a career than take care of him and his children. The article did not paint her in a good likeness at all. It even went so far as to suggest she might have a mystery lover, when there was no such individual.

Severus watched as she read each and every horrible word and he felt guilty for allowing her to read it. He watched the emotions shift across her face. First horrified, then angry, on the verge of tears and angry all over again.

She finally pushed the paper away from her. "I don't want to read anymore…How can I face anyone after reading something like that…? What you must think of me."

"I have always had my own opinions. I believe what you say over this garbage they refer to as a newspaper."

She smiled through the tears that threatened to fall. "Thank you, Severus." She gave a deep sigh and wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her shirt.

"I am so sorry," she whispered.

"For what?"

"I have looked so forward to seeing you for months. I've tried to keep my personal life out of our letters and I come here and drag it all with me. I've been such terrible company."

"You have been through difficult times."

She stared at him incredulously. "This makes me realize how much I don't know about you."

"What do you mean?"

"You have been so understanding."

"I was led to believe that is what friends do. Unless I have been misinformed?"

Hermione laughed softly, tears shining in her eyes, but for a very different reason this time. No wonder Harry's mom had been friends with Severus Snape. Buried beneath the sarcasm and bitterness was a man worth getting to know.

"Even though you cannot hide from the world to lick your wounds, I can offer some assistance in finding peace and quiet."

That piqued her curiosity. "What do you mean?"

"Remember I made arrangements for you at work?"

"You mentioned us brewing in the same place. Will I be brewing some complicated potions?"

"Yes."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"What types of Potions?"

Severus smirked. "Will you continue to ask questions like always or will you let me tell you of the arrangements?"

"Sorry. Bad habit."

He grinned. "Instead of going to the Apothecary to work, you will work here with me. You will still be required to brew the basic potions you have been, but you will be able to assist me after the workday is finished. We are both interested in medicinal potions, and improving them. We will be able to experiment when work for the Apothecary is finished. I know you mentioned wanting to brew in your own lab. This will not be your own lab, but it will allow you to save and use your funds for other things."

He knew the Assistant Brewer position did not pay very well. He also knew she had a flat she rented and two children she was caring for.

" Severus, I hardly know what to say. You don't mind sharing your lab with me?"

"I will share the lab as long as you respect that at times we will have our own sides. There will be some potions I must brew alone and not have any distractions."

"I understand."

"Is this situation agreeable to you?"

"It's very agreeable to me. I'm just concerned. You've been alone for so long. Will you be all right with me working so closely with you four to five days a week?"

"I would not have offered or made these arrangements if I thought myself to be incapable."

"Of course, I meant no offense. I happily accept the terms of this arrangement."

"Good. I know you are finished for the week with your potions, but I have one to brew that I believe you would enjoy. You may assist me if you wish."

"That would be wonderful." She beamed and Severus felt that warmth spread through his body again.

"I will show you around my…our lab and then I must work on the potion for the Apothecary. If you are feeling up to it, perhaps we can begin comparing notes in between stages."

She nodded enthusiastically. "I'd enjoy that very much."

"Let us familiarize you with the lab and see about getting you some of your own supplies to work with."

TBC...


	6. Finding Friendship

Finally got chapter six finished. Pardon my editing mistakes.

Finding Friendship

The lab in Severus' basement was not exactly spacious, but nor was it too cramped. Hermione thought it would be a perfect work place. The old stone walls reminded her a bit of the dungeon at Hogwarts. There were several candles in various places as well as a few Muggle lamps and lights to see with. There was an old ceramic sink, several tables of various shapes and sizes, a cabinet, electric burners and two wooden stools.

After showing her around the lab, Severus brought Hermione outside to his small potions garden behind the house. He grew a good number of different herbs and plants that could be harvested for potions. He showed her where his potions ingredient cabinet was, an old closet he had enlarged with magic.

When it came time to brew, Hermione watched him silently for a while. She was dying to ask him questions but forced herself to keep quiet. She did not want to give him any reason to find this new arrangement to be distasteful.

Severus was impressed with Hermione's silence. He was struggling with the unexpected awkwardness that surfaced. Although he was in a higher, more experienced position at the same establishment as her, and he had not taught in over twenty years, he found himself wanting to slip into teaching mode. It was more difficult than first believed to accept her as an equal.

Severus wanted the friendship he knew was possible with Hermione. A friendship he so desperately craved, even though he was loathe to admit it. He was lonely and like Lily once had, Hermione seemed to fill a void in his life. Hermione still retained her brilliance and instead of reciting textbooks as she did at Hogwarts, she had moved on to experimentation. He had read the article she published and he remembered feeling envious of her. He was not able to publish any of his research because that meant personal appearances and demonstrations. An alias, as he used for the apothecary, would not be acceptable for publishing articles in well known journals.

They fell into an easy routine. Most of their mornings were spent working in silence, diving into the potions they were required to make for the Apothecary. The afternoons were devoted to research and experimentation. They would often sit in Severus' living room, using his library to further their research. Occasionally Hermione would bring some of her own books. She would sit on the floor; books and parchments scattered around her. Severus would do the same when the coffee table ran out of space.

On warm days they started taking breaks at the park. Walking and talking, almost always about potions. Severus noticed that Hermione did her best to leave her ex-husband out of their conversations. Occasionally it was a subject that couldn't be avoided. Hermione tried to arrive at Severus' house prepared for work, but he could tell when her thoughts were preoccupied with her family.

Ronald gave her a hard time about some things and often tried to beg for her forgiveness on other occasions. Severus could see it was difficult on Hermione, though she tried to conceal how it was wearing her out. Molly still caused trouble, almost always where the children were concerned.

Severus and Hermione had their share of arguments and disagreements, but still respected each other when all was said and done. Hermione learned that talking about Harry and his family was a sore spot with Severus. She was sad and upset that after all these years Severus still held a grudge against Harry. He was not only James Potter's child. He was also the son of Lily, whom Severus loved so much. Perhaps that was part of the problem. Harry was the living proof of what Severus never had with Lily.

The weeks began to pass and for the first time in his life Severus felt content. Although he noted that there was still something missing. He realized he and Hermione barely talked about themselves and he found he was curious to know more about her. Not her family and their problems but _her_. Did she have a favorite book or journal she enjoyed reading? Why had she not shared that her birthday had been in September and she had turned thirty-eight? Why did he have to learn this by reading the _Prophet_?

Severus found himself staring at her more often. Watching not only how she worked, but discovering her mannerisms. She bit the corner of her lip when she concentrated and she would often reach to tuck loose tendrils of hair behind her ears, even if there was no hair there.

One day after doing purely research on increasing the response time of a headache potion, Severus invited Hermione upstairs for tea. Instead of calling Winky, as he usually did, he went to the kitchen and made the tea himself. He suggested that Hermione browse his books.

He watched her greedily from the kitchen doorframe as she ran her long lean fingers over the titles. She would open a book every few minutes, reading several pages before returning it to read another. There was pure joy on her face. She embraced knowledge as he did. As Lily once did…

Severus pursed his lips. He had to stop comparing them. Hermione was not Lily, no matter how similar they were.

The sound of the whistling kettle on the old gas stove made Severus tear his eyes away from Hermione.

She reluctantly left the great wall of books to accept the steaming mug of green tea that Severus offered as he entered the living room. She nodded her thanks and moved to sit on the couch. Severus sat beside her, the threadbare gold colored cushions of the couch sagging beneath his weight. She was surprised when he took a seat beside her. He normally sat in his blue wingback chair.

He sipped at his tea and they remained in silence.

Hermione watched him out of the corner of her eyes as she sipped her own tea. Today had felt a bit awkward. More than once she had found him staring at her. He would look away when she caught him and one time his sallow skin flushed with what Hermione assumed was embarrassment. Now that she thought of it, Severus had been staring at her all week.

She suddenly felt nervous, wondering if there was something wrong with her. Perhaps her new hair gel was making her hair frizzy instead of tamed. Maybe he noticed the few extra pounds she had gained due to the stress of being a single and separated mother.

Taking another sip of tea, she tried to look at him. There was one thing she had noticed about him this week. He had made an effort to do something with his appearance. His normally oily hair looked cleaner and combed more often. It was no longer stringy and hanging in his face, but had more bounce and the appearance of being soft. She wondered what brought about the change.

Hermione wiggled her sock covered feet and buried her toes in between the cushions of the couch.

Snape watched her actions and took a deep breath. "When did it happen?"

"Hmm?" she asked in confusion. She looked to him and found he appeared as nervous as she did. He was staring into his teacup quite intently.

He cleared his throat and decided to look at her.

It might have been the afternoon sunlight brightening everything, but Hermione realized Severus' eyes were not black, but a very dark burnt umber.

"When did you first discover you had magic?… That you were a witch?" he asked quietly.

Her mouth opened into an O. She was a little surprised at the question.

"Forgive me. That was far too personal a question." Severus started to retreat, his courage fleeing him, but Hermione released one hand from her mug to grasp his arm.

"It's not too personal. I guess I was just a little surprised by the question." She released him as he sank back down.

She allowed a gentle smile and then buried her feet more deeply in between the cushions. She placed her mug on a trivet on the coffee table, brought her knees to her chest, and wrapped her arms around them.

"My mother always said there was something different and special about me. I had this uncanny ability to open and get into things I should not have been able to when I was a toddler. I also was able get books off the top shelf without a ladder or step stool. I could just reach in their direction and the book would land in my hand."

"I really knew I was different when I was five. My best friend in primary school was very small. She was sweet and kind, but always bullied by other children. Some of the boys and other girls started pushing her around, trying to steal her lunch. One day I couldn't stand it and I started pushing them away from her. They ganged up on me and I shoved one of boys hard in self-defense. He slammed into a wall halfway across the room. I was a child." She shook her head. "I should never have had strength like that. That night someone from the Ministry came and told my parents about my…magic, how it should be channeled and controlled. They told us about the wizarding world and that I was a witch."

She gave a sad smile. "They told us about Hogwarts. It took my parents some time to get over the shock of it all. I started studying right away." She laughed. "At five. I felt I had a lot to make up for."

Severus grinned. "You have always felt that way, haven't you? You were always trying too hard at Hogwarts."

She nodded. "I was eager to learn about a new world that I wanted to fit into. Studying always benefited me in Muggle school. I thought it would help at Hogwarts."

"What about you, Severus? How did you discover you had magic? Or did your mother tell you since she was a witch?"

Severus swallowed. While he was eager to learn about Hermione, he had not thought about him having to share details of his life. He disliked talking about himself immensely.

Hermione noticed him struggling. Just as she was about to open her mouth and tell him he did not have to answer he decided to speak.

"I knew from a young age that I was a wizard. I too wanted to be accepted, although…that never seemed to happen."

"You were friends with Lily. She accepted you."

Severus looked away. "And my greed for knowledge and power destroyed not only our friendship, but…"

He closed his mouth, fearing he had said too much already. Hermione had seen his memories. She already knew some of the most intimate things about him. He hated feeling as if she had the upper hand, since he knew so little about her.

He jerked when he felt her hand on his arm. Lily used to do that when he was in one of his morose moods. Especially during the summer months when he had to endure his parents fighting. He and Lily would lay in the grass together at the park, and while he was deep in thought she would try to comfort him. It was something he never really was able to get used to. His mother had never been the comforting type. While awkward, the attention he once received from Lily and now Hermione was also enjoyable.

He grit his teeth, having caught himself doing it again. He hated how he compared Lily and Hermione so often, but he could not help it. They were both Muggleborn, both powerful witches. They loved reading and school and knowledge. And he found himself drawn by an unexplainable force to each of them.

"It's growing later. I'm sure you have things you would rather do," she replied meekly when the silence stretched for too long.

"I-- don't. I enjoy…this," Severus sputtered.

She flashed him one of those smiles that warmed his insides and then the smile faded. She swallowed. "Severus, are we friends?"

The question took him off guard. "I…believe so." _I hope so._

The smile returned. "Good."

"Will you stay for dinner?" he asked without thinking. He wasn't ready for her to go quite yet.

She nodded. "I'd like that."

To be continued…


	7. Unexpected Feelings

Sorry for the delay all. I have taken on a higher position at work which is a bit more draining and leaves less time for writing. :(

This has not been beta read so please forgive my errors.

Unexpected feelings…

The weeks continued to pass in a comfortable routine. That was until the Christmas holiday began to approach. Severus disliked that Hermione began leaving straight after her work for the apothecary was done to buy gifts for her family and friends.

When they were able to spend time brewing for the apothecary, they continued to ask each other silly, trival questions. Favorite colors, favorite books. Favorite authors. The sorts of things that people shared as they deepened their friendship.

Christmas arrived and Severus expected to spend it alone. He had spent the last twenty years alone, why should this holiday be any different? It still put him in a sour mood.

Hermione had parties and family gatherings to attend all week. Part of him loathed the idea of her having to spend time with the Weasley's. Between Molly's interfering and Ronald's mood swings, it was bound to be a trying time.

It was a complete surprise when Hermione arrived late on Christmas day at Spinners End with a package under her arm.

"What are you doing here?" Severus asked, incredulous at seeing her hanging her coat up on the coat rack by the door.

"That happy to see me?" she grinned.

_Yes._

"How has your holiday been? Would you like some tea?" He asked, trying to keep the sudden nervousness he felt at bay.

"Tea would be lovely."

Severus did not have to summon Winky. The House Elf was there instantly wishing a Happy Christmas to her two human companions before moving to the kitchen.

"My holiday has been… tolerable."

Severus flashed Hermione a smirk.

"Stop that," she laughed. 'It's been as tolerable as an ex husband and mother in law can make it. It's been difficult on Rose and Hugo. Their first Christmas not waking up with mom and dad there, but they are adjusting. They are with their father and his family right now. I managed to slip away because my Christmas wouldn't be complete if I didn't deliver my last gift."

Hermione stepped forward and handed the dark haired wizard a long thin package wrapped in cliche red paper and a green ribbon. "Happy Christmas, Severus."

Severus' fingers came into contact with Hermione's as she passed him the gift. He let out the breath he had not realized he was holding and smiled. He opened the gift carefully and revealed a lovely black leather bound journal. It looked expensive and Severus realized Hermione must have gone without so that she could purchase it for him. He was both touched and angered by this.

"Do you like it? I thought perhaps you could record all the new potions and improvements you have worked on. Maybe you can even publish it someday."

Severus didn't miss the hope in her voice. She still wished he would rejoin the wizarding world. " It is lovely. I will record _our_ potions in here in the hope that someday we can publish it together."

She flashed him that warm smile again and Severus found himself smiling back at her. Her reaction was different this time. She smiled shyly, glancing at the floor.

"I was going to give your gift to you on Monday. I must warn you that I do not normally celebrate Christmas, but since my brewing partner saw fit to abandon me for shopping, I thought I might try to do a little of my own." The wicked grin tugged at his lips. "Follow me to the lab."

She did as he asked, hardly unable to contain the excitement and surprise that he had bought her a Christmas gift. He asked her to step in front of him and close her eyes at the top of the stairway. She felt his warm hands cover her eyes.

"You don't trust me?" she laughed.

"I do, but I will be able to help steady you this way. We would not want you to take a tumble down the stairs."

They took each step at a time and felt as if the journey took ages. Hermione was all too aware of Severus behind her and of how warm his hands were. One on over her eyes and the other at her waist to help steady her . He in turn was quite aware of her body moving so close to his own.

When they reached the floor, Severus quickly removed his hands. "Lumos!" he called. "Open your eyes."

Hermione gasped. Her normal work area in the lab had been restocked with tools and vials, all of them brand new.

"Severus, you shouldn't have…." She moved to the work station and picked up the set of knives he had bought for her. Putting them down, she shook her head and backed away from the table. "Severus, I couldn't possibly accept these. They must have cost a fortune." The journal she bought him paled in comparison.

"You will accept them or you will offend me. If you dislike the scroll design carved into the handles, I can return them for a different design. I have the owl order catalog upstairs."

"No…no. They are perfect…" Her eyes brimmed with tears.

Severus watched her hold one of the knives up to examine the craftsmanship. Did she not understand the gift she had given him? While he loved the journal, because it was from her, the friendship she gave him was a greater gift than anything she could have purchased. Did she not know how he looked forward to every moment spent in her presence? That those six to twelve hours were never enough? Did she not realize that since her return he was no longer just breathing and existing, but now living?

"Let's see about that tea."

After the holiday, Hermione spent more time with Severus again. The sour attitude as quickly as it had arrived. The months passed so fast that it was with great surprise that winter changed to spring. March arrived marking a full year that Hermione and Severus had been reunited. Severus was slowly filling the journal with new potions and improvements to old ones that he and Hermione perfected.

The time spent together made Severus feel content for the first time in decades, but like all good things the happiness was disrupted.

By the first week of June, Hermione's demeanor changed. Severus thought it might have to do with family related issues, but noticed things were different this time around compared to past experiences.

Severus could tell that Hermione was keeping something from him. She refused to make eye contact with him and she was too quiet; her mind preoccupied with her thoughts rather than the work she was doing. When the questioning stopped and she began to work like a Muggle robot, he knew something was wrong with her.

It was getting to him. He wondered if her ex-husband or his mother had done something truly awful this time, and Hermione was too upset or embarrassed to speak of it. As curious as he was to ask, Severus refrained. She would tell him if or when she was ready.

Near the end of a Monday the following week, Hermione finally decided to tell Severus what was on her mind .

"I have a date on Friday," she blurted.

It could have been her imagination, but she could have sworn she saw Severus stiffen beside her.

Her admission affected Severus in a way he would not have expected. He was suddenly envious of a man whose name he did not even know.

"A date?" he forced himself to say neutrally.

She nodded. "I was delivering our potions to the Apothecary and Jeremy Briston asked me out for dinner. I don't know what made me say yes. Maybe because it was so unexpected and I was on the spot."

"Indeed," Severus said, unable to keep a hint of disdain out of his tone.

Hermione sighed. "I don't know what I have gotten myself into, Severus."

"You could always cancel the arrangement, if you are not feeling up to keeping it." He closed the book he was using a little harder than he meant to.

She shook her head. "I couldn't. Besides, he's one of our bosses. Oh, bollocks! I'd not even thought of that! What if the date goes horribly and he fires me?"

"If he knows what is good for his business, such a thought will never even cross his mind. You cannot go on this outing acting as someone you are not. Especially to try and win the favor of this man in the hopes that he will not fire you.

"You're right of course. It's just now I'm even more nervous and worried than I was before." She bit her lower lip.

Severus reached for her hand, and tried to understand why he had been finding excuses to touch her more often. "Are you certain you are ready for this?"

"I'll never know if I don't at least try."

He swallowed hard. "You have your answer then," he nearly whispered.

Severus withdrew his hand, and moved to the other side of the room to finish cleaning up the books they had scattered across his kitchen table.

Hermione felt that Severus was quiet over the next several days. He only seemed to ask questions pertaining to their work, and he gave her short concise answers to her own questions. She was not sure what was wrong with him, but she was too preoccupied with thoughts of her upcoming date to linger on it.

When Friday arrived, Severus tried to keep his morose mood from showing, but it did no good. He snapped at Hermione, he took his temper out on the lab furniture. He hated himself for it, but he could not stop. He was angry, he was jealous and he was afraid. What if the date went well and Hermione and Mr. Briston went on another? And then another? What if this man took Hermione away from him? Was that why he was jealous? Or was it for an entirely different reason?

Hermione was used to Severus' occasional temper tantrums, although he had not had one in a very long time. She surprised him and herself when she was leaving. She reached up and placed a kiss on one sallow cheek.

"Try to have a good weekend and wish me luck."

Severus was too shocked to say anything, and watched as she smiled sadly.

"I'll see you on Monday," she told him and then she was gone. Disapparating from his living room with a sharp echoing crack.

After she had left, Severus touched his cheek with his fingers. It was a long time before he vacated the living room to dive back into his potions.

He worked tirelessly in his lab, and was surprised to hear footfall on the stairs leading down to the lab some ten minutes later. Looking up, he saw Hermione dressed in a very slimming navy blue skirt and white blouse. Her hair was down and curly, but not frizzy.

Uncharacterically frazzled, he dropped the knife he was using and heard it clatter and spin on the cutting board. "What are you doing here? What about your date?"

"What point was there in going if the person I care about is here?"

Severus' eyes widened. Hermione walked to him and reached for his hand. She squeezed it gently. "You do realize I care for you, Severus, don't you?"

He knew she cared about him as a friend, but she seemed to be insinuating she felt more than that. He wanted to ask if she was well or if she had bumped her head, but he couldn't open his mouth.

She smiled at him and Severus found himself staring at her lips as she licked them in an effort to wet them. He felt his breathing quicken. Did she realize how lovely she looked when she did something like that? Severus felt blood rushing through his veins and he hardened in response to the desire in her brown eyes.

She leaned closer to him and he felt drawn to her like a magnet to metal. Their lips met, their tongues explored and their hands were everywhere at once. Hermione pressed herself against him and Severus groaned, his eyes closing at the feeling she evoked in him.

Breathing heavily, Severus' eyes shot open, and he found himself not with Hermione in the lab, but alone staring at his bedroom ceiling. That wasn't all he found. Glancing down the bed at himself, he noticed his trousers tented away from his lower body. His body hummed with pleasure, and for the first time in as long as he could remember he had an erection for a purely sexual reason.

Part of him was disgusted, guilty and disappointed in himself for dreaming about such things that included Hermione.

Another part of him was thrilled, excited and very aroused. The dream made him realize how attractive Hermione was in body. He already found her mind and personality attractive.

He sighed heavily, wondering just what he should do. He very much wanted to reach down and stroke himself, but he was afraid he might feel disgusted when the act was over. He rolled to his side, trying to ignore the electricity that seemed to pulse through his body. For a few moments he managed to.

His eyes fell upon the half opened black potions journal on his bedside table, an unused new Quill between its ivory pages. He had been day dreaming and had fallen asleep before he had picked up the book to jot his ideas down. He had been thinking about Hermione and how she had kissed him on the cheek. He remembered how warm and soft her mouth had been, how shy she appeared after stepping away. Then he remembered the Hermione in his dream. He vividly remembered the taste of her lips, the feel of her against him. Pressed tight against his body.

Involuntarily, one hand slipped beneath the waistband of his trousers and underwear. It closed around the rigid flesh, that strained against the fabric. Severus' eyes closed and he swallowed hard. His hand began to move as images danced beneath his eyelids. As he pumped up and down, his breathing became harsh and his heart thumped wildly in his chest. He attempted to hold back the feeling that was building, but he also wanted it too badly. On the next upstroke he used his thumb to pin his glans against his hand. The motion caused his finger to touch that glorious place.

His body arched off the bed. "Hermione…" he gasped. A powerful release caught him off guard and he fell hard onto the mattress as the evidence of his desire spurted onto his hand and underwear.

He panted for a long time in the dark, basking in the afterglow. A quick spell cleared away all evidence of what he had done.

He felt his rapidly beating heart slam into his ribcage as a realization struck him. _No…not again…_ He was feeling things for Hermione that he should not. Look what had happened with Lily…Yet could he blame her for walking away after what he had done? Why Potter? Why had she gone to Potter..and Hermione…Hermione was not here with him tonight. She was on a date with another man.

Jealousy reared its ugly head. Severus realized he cared for Hermione a great deal. He was then distraught by such knowledge. How could he betray Lily by feeling something for Hermione? And exactly what did he feel for Hermione? He was not so naïve to believe it to be love, but he knew he felt more than just friendship.

He gazed down at himself and the wrinkled bed linens surrounding him. He had just…while thinking about her…

How was he to face her on Monday morning?


End file.
